Jet Set, Minneapolis

This, my friends, is my all time favorite bar. It has all of my favorite things: Gays, Dancing, and GENEROUS pours. Getting my boyfriend drunk enough to take off his shirt while sending gay men over to get his number is also a favorite game of mine.

Jet Set Bar

This bar is always clean, the music is always great, and the crowd is always fun. If you're lucky, you can catch the local weatherman Sven dancing in all of his tiny glory with his adoring fans.

As far as bar restrooms go, this one is actually very impressive. It is located in the back of the bar, which does cause some issues with navigating crowds. The sink area is outside of the restrooms, so there isn't much crowding around where you're doing your business. Open the door to find a single stall with a plush little stool outside of it. Now, this can be great or terrible. Great: If you don't like to go into a bar bathroom alone there is a place for your gal pal to sit while you go. Terrible: If you're in there by yourself and a stranger comes in and decides to wait sitting on that stool while you're trying to relieve yourself.

The restroom itself is always clean and well stocked. I have to attribute some of this to the fact that I am often one of very few women actually in the bar. That said, however, I am glad that this restroom is not neglected. Jet Set is catering to the needs of all of its patrons, and for that I am grateful.

The restroom is juxtaposed right behind the DJ booth, so the loud bumping music and base will mask 99% of sounds emitted during your visit. This is always a points booster for me, as I am living in constant fear of ripping a large fart on the bowl that echoes through the silence and reaches the ears of everyone within a 5 mile radius. I know this is a little unreasonable, but most phobias are. (PS: If you know the term for Fear of Farting, please submit to thepoopspot@gmail.com!)

Overall Rating: 8.5/10

What's Your Poo Telling You?

This reference guide was gifted to me for my birthday by a lovely man, coworker, and friend (Thanks, Theo!) and I am here to shout its excellence from the rooftops.



What's Your Poo Telling You? is a pocket sized resource guide outlining (with detail, and often illustrations!) our various bowel movements and what they are telling us about our bodies. Written by Josh Richman and Anish Sheth, M.D., this cleverly phrased medical reference is as accurate as it is hilarious.



It is my professional opinion that any and all restrooms in your home are equipped with this little book.

Too legit to quit

Why? Because TPS rocks a QR code, MFer's! Be on the lookout for these bad boys all about town.

Now That Borders Is Closed, Where Do We Poop...?

I'm sure all of you know by now that the long standing book store franchise, Borders Books, has closed its doors after nearly 40 years of operation. Naturally, this end of a cozy place that provided millions with timeless classics, cook books, travel guides, and Harry Potter brings to mind a very important question: Where will we poop?

Shoppers, errand-runners, and city strollers alike have been stopping into Borders Books for a quick deuce since the franchise expanded nationally. That quiet single stalled restroom tucked away in some uncharted corner of the self help section was a safe place to slip in, drop a Dumpledore, and slip out completely unnoticed. The miracle of it all was that the bathroom seems to always be vacant, as though there was some sort of unspoken schedule shared by the universe.

Now we wander aimlessly without that safe haven, that beacon of rescue, and we wonder where we are to go.

Well, The Poop Spot has a few suggestions that we only hope will ease the pain of this terrible loss.

1. The Library There's something about the peace and serenity of being surrounded by literature that sets the tone for taking care of business. Also, you can rest assured that people are too deeply involved in their reading to notice you enter the restroom, let alone how long you're in there or how much noise you're making.

2. The Grocery Store A restroom is usually the last thing on a person's mind when shopping for food. Most grocery store restrooms go unused, mostly because they are very difficult to locate within the store. Ask a clerk to save yourself the search, but I assure you - It'll be vacant.

3. The Mall Some of the classiest, cleanest, most comfortable restrooms I have ever had the pleasure of crapping in are located in a Mall. I prefer to use a department store restroom. Something about walking through a Pepto Bismol pink lounge with a chaise and a chandelier makes me feel like a Queen. Best of all, it's totally public and no one cares that you're not buying a thing.

4. Campus Buildings Now, you can really only get away with this if you're under the age of 35, but it's a great solution if you live in a college city. I work in a neighborhood set on the outskirts of the University of Minnesota campus and am virtually surrounded by bustling campus buildings with lobby bathrooms. With students of various ages coming and going with great frequency throughout the day, one can blend right in and slip into one of the many a restrooms in the building, usually located on the first floor. Maybe even hit up that coffee shop on the second floor of the Carlson School Of Management when you're done...

So there you have it, a small gift of knowledge that will help you in your ever evolving search for the best public, or semi-public restrooms in this world.

And special thanks to Theo for sparking this topic of conversation. Get your sticker request in ASAP, buddy.

Questions Answered

Thank God there are people out there answering the hard-hitting questions that so often go unanswered.

Thanks for this discovery, Lucy!

Taking A Poop: Facts and Questions Answered

The World's Best

In case it's not clear yet, I love a good bathroom. When reminiscing about my travels, often the details that stick out most in my mind are the personal facilities that I encounter. Some are glamorous, others torturous. Asian bathrooms can generally be placed in the latter category, but Europeans know how to do it right.

Two cans of distinction stand out in my mind as the best the world has to offer, both swanky hotel lobby ladies' rooms:

First place: Claridge's Hotel in Mayfair, London

Not the lobby bathroom, but you get the idea. And that ain't no ¡Bidet Ole!

This hotel is the best London has to offer. As my mother repeated a minimum of 450 times during our happy hour in the bar, "This place is SO. CLASSY." The lobby itself warrants a few minutes of open-mouthed awe -- the tiled floor! the velvet seating! the crystal! the marble! the molding! And my god, the art deco.

As this particular trip was several years ago, I don't remember the finer points of the restroom, save for a few things. The hand soap smells better than Chanel, you could eat off of the toilet seat (not that I recommend it), I'm pretty sure the TP was eleven-ply, and when you ask the concierge where the loo is, he wordlessly leads you directly to it.

The men's room - even the urinal anti-splash screens are classy! (The women's room is way better, trust)

Drool over their class-drenched website here.
Rating: 18/10

Runner-up: Hotel Grande Bretagne in Athens, Greece

A decent view, if you're into the Acropolis and that sort of thing.

This modest little gem is where I spent 20 Euros on a martini to celebrate my 21st birthday (I could only afford one - tragic!). Their rooftop bar offers bubbly cocktails and soothing breeze to help you forget about all the plebeians scurrying below.

Part of the lobby. Yes, part.

If you're actually staying in an $8 per night hostel six blocks away, it's best to show your face around the lobby a couple of times so that the doormen recognize you before casually slipping down the velvet staircase to the lower-level lounge four times a day. I think by the end of week in Athens, the concierge tipped his cap to us every time we entered (just to use the bathroom, of course, but he didn't need to know that).

A "classic room" commode

This particular restroom comes in handy for the weary backpacker. Lots of seating (aside from the toilets), luxurious soaps and lotions to refresh yourself with. Amenities are Gilchrist & Soames, which I gather are quite expensive. Because the bathroom is downstairs and out of the way of lobby traffic, its seclusion offers a tranquil environment for the shy among us. Each marbled stall is its own little bathroom, complete with sink and mirror. This situation is ideal if you need a little extra privacy to do your deed. Actually, I managed to lock myself in one of these precious little privies. Thank god I wasn't traveling alone, and my companion heard my screams for help (she was seconds away from summoning the concierge, which certainly would have exposed our scheme). I suppose if I had to be trapped in any confined space, it would definitely be this one.

Better not look at their website unless you're planning a trip, because you might cry.
Rating: 12/10

A Sincere Thanks

Hey Poopers!

We really want to show our gratitude for your encouragement and support of The Poop Spot. To show we care, we'd love to feature some fans on the web page. Send us a photo of where you've stuck your sticker, or you posing with your sticker, and we'll post it to the site.

Don't have a sticker yet? What the hell is wrong with you, they're FREE.

To request a sticker, send you name and address to thepoopspot@gmail.com

We're too small of an organization to spam you or sell your info, so chill out.

Brilliant.

Enjoy this incredibly brilliant video on how to remedy the dreaded "Poop Splash." Don't pretend you don't know what we're talking about.



Damn, that cat is cute.

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Shorty's - Des Moines, Iowa

Tucked away in a foreboding alleyway on the 200 block of Court Avenue, the lower level of Sbrocco Wine Bar is a sweet little basement bar for those in the know. A generous bartender is among my favorite things (second only to an amiable hotel concierge), and Shorty's does not disappoint. They recently remodeled, and I have to say, its swank level has increased tenfold. Gone are the awkwardly positioned leather couches (horrible for bare legs in the summer heat), in with a longer, more accessible bar and better lighting (save for the lone green lightbulb dangling above an always-vacant booth - we understand that this bar is supposed to look Irish, but not even Megan Fox looks good bathed in green light).

Shorty's, pre-remodel - note the awkward leather couch

When those cheap and hearty drinks start flowing through your bladder, the well-maintained single-room latrine is close at hand. Its soft vanilla scent welcomes you into the spacious room, ideal for when four of your friends accompany you to the ladies' room. The slide handle lock on the door is pretty janky, but reliable. The attempt at decor, it must be said, was a lazy one; however, exposed wires in the ceiling are about the most offensive thing you'll find here.

A word of warning to gossip queens: The wall between the toilet and the farthest corner booth is a very thin one, and conversations on one side or the other are easily discernible.

Rating: 8.5/10

Check out their website here for a more specific location.

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The Great Minnesota Get Together

Over this absolutely gorgeous Labor Day weekend, my pals and I ventured over to St. Paul to attend the Minnesota State Fair. This year we decided that it would be wise to download the MN State Fair iPhone app. Thank God we did! The ease with which we located desired food stands, sights, animals, rides, and music made the fair a leisurely and enjoyable experience. I won't attend again without this handy guide, and I recommend it to any and all fair-goers.

After making my way through a pronto pup, cheese curds, a scotch egg, Australian Fried Potatoes (still have no idea what made them Australian...), pork chop on a stick, grilled sweet corn, salad on a stick, candy bar on a stick, a large heping of Sweet Martha's Cookies, all you can drink milk (which was about half a glass for me), Summit's Beer on a Stick, and funnel cake- I needed to free up some space in my certainly wounded digestive tract.

I wandered over to the first restroom I could find. The line was extremely long, which was to be expected. This is usually a negative factor that goes along with public restrooms in crowded places, but you forget- we're at the fair! There was a parade of freaks, fatties, and abnormally unattractive people to keep one quite entertained- as well as an incredibly drunk man being all too pushy about us ladies heading into the Men's room instead... I did not oblige his request.

Upon entering I noticed very harsh lighting, which, cast upon the motley crew of fair-goers in my company, seemed to amplify every mark, bulge, and missing tooth. I finally spotted an open stall and approached, pleased to see that the doors open out instead of in, leaving lots of room to navigate my multitude of bags full of free shit that I had accumulated.

I usually don't bother, but I did need to wipe off the seat before sitting. The flush of this toilet is so strong that it casts an unwelcome spray out of the bowl, misting the seat and your back side (if you're one to flush before getting up). I assume this is to accommodate for the rigorous work these toilets must do just to choke down the masses of crap that enter them each day.

Considering how much crap MUST be produced in these stalls, the smell was not offensive. This, however, can be attributed to the large population of livestock inhabiting the surrounding area. A short time at the fair and your nose has adjusted to this scent that masks almost every other smell there (except mini donuts...).

The waiting crowd can often cause stage fright and anxiety in a pooper. Not here! The echoing noise of the ladies inside the restroom combined with the noise of the crowd outside created the perfect cover. I could have played a vuvuzela in there and none would be the wiser.

After my work was done, I exited my stall where I was greeted by a clean sink and mirror well stocked with both soap and paper towels. All in all, I was incredibly impressed with the fair staff for keeping the bathroom surprisingly clean and well stocked. That could not possibly be an easy task.

Rating: 7/10

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BUSINESS CARDS ARE IN!

Keep an eye out for these bad boys at your favorite restaurant locations! If you see one, hurry to the web site for the review!!

THEY HAVE ARRIVED!!

The stickers are in! For those of you who requested, they'll be in the mail tomorrow! For those of you who have NOT - wtf? E-mail your request to thepoopspot@gmail.com